I climbed into bed, feeling the heavy comforter wrapping me up in safekeeping like bubble wrap, while Rupert and Alexander burrowed their furry feline bodies under the covers to warm my feet. Hummmmm … felt so good and cozy. My husband Sam was already in quiet rhythmic breathing as I put head to pillow that cold January evening.
I fell asleep thinking of Scrooge and how the visits from Christmases past, present and future changed his present as well as his future. It was a dream he had … wasn’t it? Scrooge didn’t have to live the future or relive the past; he only needed to be awakened by the dream of what was to come if the present didn’t change. There is something about the arrival of a new year that brings thoughts and dreams of prosperity and abundance with it. Perhaps it is the result of all the holiday spending and knowing the credit card payments will soon be due. I dreamt how much easier my life, my family’s and my friends’ lives would be if I could just win the lottery. Imagine having millions of dollars to fulfill hopes, to pay off debts and start new projects that could help and support others. It all dreams as a fabulous dream.
So how come I find myself lucid dreaming, thinking that something is missing from this dream? With all the bills paid, new businesses started, house paid for, money in the bank to pay for whatever is wanted or needed, what could be missing? Nothing at first glance, at least nothing that I could think of, especially since it could all be shared with people I love, and even with people I hadn’t met yet but knew I would love.
A moment’s lucid contemplation revealed that the dissatisfaction was coming from a feeling of finiteness, even though I am dreaming this and there is an abundance of money. A Buddhist quote sprung to mind: “Now that my house has been burned down, I have an unobstructed view of the moon.” Where did that come from and why? WOW … I suddenly realized that I didn’t want more … more stuff, more money, more worldly security. I actually wanted less. And oddly, at the same time, I wanted ALL. Winning the lottery would make me comfortable and, in a huge way liberated, but it wouldn’t make me limitless, and that is what I would wish for myself and others this 2011 … to live infinity.
I had read how the Samoans taught their children to go back to sleep and re-dream their dream as they’d like it to be, if they’d had a scary one. Being lucid in my dream, I decided to do just that. Turning on my side, shifting Rupert’s soft furry body slightly out of the way, I took a deep breath and decided to re-dream my dream of the lottery.
What would an infinity dream look like? Actually, I could ‘feel’ it, more than see it. It ‘felt’ like unquestionable knowing … knowing that whatever I might ask the divine within me, whatever good and needful thing it might be, would be given. Somewhere within me my heart began to remember that there is a divine law of inheritance that says something like: By right of being the creation of a Divine Creator – made up of Divine substance – you, too, have all that the Creator has ……. because you and your Creator are One.
I love this! In this infinity dream, I am limitless being, allowing the infinite to form itself according to my need: to multiply itself if that is needed, to decrease itself if that is what is required, or to create anew, should newness be the object of my heart. This dream is too good to be true or to even be a dream. What’s the catch?
Like one of Scrooge’s visiting ghosts, a voice in the dream spoke: ‘Trust – know that when you ask, you receive, even before you have finished asking. Remember the wisdom of your heart – AND FORGET EVERYTHING ELSE.’ These last four words felt like a strong wind blowing through the room, shaking the bed and making the kitties, who were asleep beside me, leap onto the floor with a thud. Oddly though, they did not run out of the room. The kitties and I (Sam slept on, undisturbed) sat still and strained to hear more …and, softly, more did come: ‘Remember only what you want to bring forth and forget that which you do not want in your life. There is no other creator but the one that IS your heart.’
Truly, I wish I could say that I jumped out of bed and began materializing my every need, laughingly. But alas, I could not … or maybe, in keeping with my new awareness, I should say I did not.
This was a dream, an infinity dream … wasn’t it? I know I am different for it. My viewpoint has shifted from winning the lottery to remembering my identity. Some part of me recognizes that when I can fully accept the Self of me, I will have won the lottery – I will have won my freedom and I will live in infinity.
To quote Dickens: “God Bless you one and all.”